Who's Here?

Written by Ryan
Friday, 03 September 2010 07:56
So in 13 days the Flyers are going to take the ice and play another NHL team. Granted, the casual fan won't know many of the players on the ice for the Flyers, and even the most obsessed fan won't know much about the opposition, but it's hockey. And thank G-O-D for that. I can't imagine how long this hot, hot summer's been for fans that didn't have games well into June. That's not even a shot at anyone, that's just me truthin'. Anyway, on the 16th the Flyers Rookies take on the Capitals rookies. This is something that they should try to throw on the NHL Network like they do the rookie tournament out in the Midwest. It's one of the only games where actually watching the game is more important than the outcome, so DVR's all over the Delaware Valley would be popping off at 3PM two Thursdays from now. As it stands, you're probably just going to have to try and sneak it in at work, in constant fear that your boss is going to catch you flagrantly not doing anything instead of not doing anything in your own private way. Here's a little commercial the Flyers didn't ask us to put together for the event. Baby fight!! s Add comment (0)

Opening for Host of Show We Don't Have Already Filled

Written by Ryan

Thursday, 02 September 2010 16:11

It was going to be a simple job description. We needed a passionate Flyers fan who calls himself Humphrey Flogart and Mr. Casanova Coffee Brown to use phrases such as 'man with the golden gun' and be willing to break down goaltending video.

Then Jon showed me this:

'You know better than to drive in a fucking car while half asleep.'

Mr. EvenStatus, when our deal comes through we'll be awaiting your call.

Add comment (2)

Flyers! The Movie Coming to Theatres Near You in 2012

Written by Ryan
Thursday, 02 September 2010 08:55
We've been petitioning the Flyers to allow us to shoot a documentary, much like Jimmy Fallon did with the Red Sox, for the better part of 3 years. And they finally caved in. Kind of. Instead of letting us follow the team around with two cameras for the 2010-11 season, capturing all the tomfoolery of the road, the highs of success, and the lows of defeat, they decided to allow us to film ourselves watching their games as long as we don't mistakenly get any of the actual games in any shots. Which is cool, I guess. But just to make sure that we capture the true emotions of a full NHL season as seen through players' eyes Fran went ahead and greenlit(?) an actual dramadey called 'Flyers! The Movie.' Seeing as you're a paying member of Flyers Goal Scored By Insider, we thought it'd be cool to let you know who's been cast for which roles before the general public finds out. We're sending out the letters today and are fairly sure that these fine actors will be willing to clear their schedules for a Thanksgiving weekend start. We're planning on bringing our team to meet the actual Flyers on Black Friday, but I'm getting ahead of myself. Without further ado, here is the fine collection of actors that will be playing your 2010 Philadelphia Flyers on the silver screen! Mike Richards - uh, what? Of course! Jimmy Fallon! Claude Giroux - Giovanni Ribbisi Daniel Carcillo - Danny Devito Nikolai Zherdev - Daniel Radcliffe Daniel Briere - Rachel Dratch James van Riemsdyk - Joaquin Phoenix Jeff Carter - John Slattery Ville Leino - Charlie Day Scott Hartnell - Jorge Garcia Blair Betts - Matthew Fox Ian Laperriere - Christopher Lloyd Jody Shelley - Gerard Depardieu Darroll Powe - Lee Norris (better known as Stuart Minkus from Boy Meets World) Chris Pronger - Craig Kilborn Kimmo Timonen - Ian Ziering Matt Carle - That werewolf from The Twilight! Braydon Coburn - Angelica Huston Andrej Meszaros - Brandon Call (better known as JT from Step by Step) Sean O'Donnell - Harrison Ford Michael Leighton - Keanu Reeves (reprising his role in YoungBlood) Brian Boucher - George Michael And there you have it! When they all accept we'll move into phase 2, which I'm not sure what that is, but such an esteemed collection of actors should know, right? Feel free to offer up some back ups, should anyone be unable to come to the U.S. for filming because of pending charges, or you know, be dead. Add comment (6)

What to Do With These Forwards?

Written by Ryan
Monday, 30 August 2010 09:08
In two days it's September. The month in which training camps begin and mountainous kids from the farms of Canada begin fighting, literally, for jobs during NHL pre-season games. The internet is waking from it's 2 month hockey hibernation. People are getting excited. So the Flyers made some moves this off-season. Brought in a former blue chip defenseman looking to regain his old form, brought in a veteran #6 d-man, and exchanged fan favorite Simon Gagne for enigmatic Russian Nik Zherdev. Regardless of your feelings in regards to any of those moves, this is where we are and what we're working with. What has, I think, a lot of Flyers fans excited is the possibility that we might have the best second line in the NHL this season. If Ville Leino, Danny Briere, and Scott Hartnell can resume their playoff form they could carry us to victory single-handedly on nights when for whatever reason the other 17 players on the squad barely show up. That's a big 'IF.' But when you're looking at the upcoming season and you begin your analysis with second line that obviously raises questions about the first. We've gone through Mike Richards line pairings a number of times before so we won't bother you with the actual stats, but instead just leave our premise at 'Mike Richards' only steady linemate over the past 2 seasons is now sitting next to Steve Downie in Tampa Bay's locker room.' So what becomes of a first line center with no wings? This is a situation that Laviolette is going to have feel out as the days leading up to opening night pass. One of the biggest questions at the center of this issue is what to do with Jeff Carter. And the answer to that obviously has a huge impact on Claude Giroux. What does a team that has 4 potentially All-Star caliber centers vying for 3 spots do? The simple answer is to move one of them to the wing. The difficult question is who? In my opinion, Claude Giroux has got to be at center on the third line. A pivot needs to be able to dish to his wings. To control the play in the offensive zone. That's where Giroux excels and is also part of the game that Jeff Carter has just never developed. I'd be interested to see what % of Jeff Carter's assists over the past 3 years were off of passes versus rebounds. I'd venture to guess at least 2/3 of them were the result of Carter's linemates crashing the net and picking up Carter's garbage. So you can see that I think it's going to be Carter on the wing, obviously the first line, but who is ready to fill Simon Gagne's skates? After a 35 point rookie season I think James van Riemsdyk is going to get serious consideration for that spot. The hope being that Mike Richards' offensive savvy and Jeff Carter's shoot first ask questions later style of play will put JVR in a position to score a whole bunch of goals from right around the crease. A more agile, more gifted Mike Knuble if you will. Mike Richards' point total decreased significantly last year despite bringing in a bunch of guys that did decrease the number of hard minutes he was playing. That'll happen when you're playing with a 3rd/4th line winger who has no front teeth. This year, the way things are shaking out, Daniel Carcillo is going to have to play responsible defensive hockey and contribute on offense as well. He's going to need to Klatt us about 20 goals while playing a much more significant role in our top 12. Or else Darroll Powe will. Here's my opening night line up. Could be way off - but I don't really see another way that these pieces fit together. s JVR - Richards - Carter Hartnell - Briere - Leino Zherdev - Giroux - Carcillo/Powe* Laperriere - Betts - Shelley If Powe's in Carcillo might bump down to the 4th and land Shelley and his $1M contract in the press box. Add comment (11)

Do I Tweet @MikeTestwuide?

Written by Ryan
Friday, 27 August 2010 06:38
I'm a fan of the Flyers. No shit, right? But there's all these articles coming out about bloggers rights and responsibilities and guess what - I don't give a shit about any of it. If bloggers are fighting for their rights I'm like the Japanese Internment Camp guy who's like 'No, I'll just stay in here, I kind of like this cage.' (by far the least controversial setting-civil-rights-back analogy I can make because everyone pokes a little fun at Asians, amirite?) We didn't start this blog because we wanted to get free tickets, and especially not to talk to players. They never say anything anyway except how great their teammates are. 'Yeah, I already know that guy. That's why I have all those pictures of them and candles I carved to look like them.' But things are getting weird. Twitter is causing me quite a bit of anxiety. A couple weeks ago we convinced JVR to follow us and then we got drunk at a staff meeting and Tweeted the shit out him and the rest of the internet. He doesn't follow us anymore. I don't think he blocked us, but pretty sure he doesn't follow us. But that's the problem - he doesn't need to follow us. If you're not familiar with Twitter it's like having everyone in the world's email address, you just have to keep it to text length. You can let them know you want their attention just by including their name in your message. It's very strange. I imagine those of you who still check phone bills with a pencil, have a 'land line', or have raved to your friends about The Magic Jack just crapped your jean shorts. So I was reading this very decent article by Julie Robenhymer of Hockeybuzz and she dropped Mike Testwuide's Twitter account at the end of it. So we now follow him (Mike, btw, you need to get that picture changed to some mother fucking Flyers shit - you're not in Colorado anymore, hippy). But what do I have to say to the guy? What does he have to say to everyone? He went golfing yesterday with his teammates. I don't want to know that. It's weird. Athletes on Twitter just say what they do and we gobble it up (@CamJanssen55 being the exception). If you're no one like us you have to be witty, funny, clever, or at least provide some news. If I was listing off my activities for the day no one would follow us - sitting at my desk, sitting at my desk, just got a forward from a friend, sitting at my desk, thinking about pooping but need to charge my iPhone so I can play solitaire, sitting at my desk, Tweeting (which = pooping), back at my desk, thinking about leaving but it's only 11AM, watching YouTube, …. So we follow Mike on Twitter now, but I'm thinking about getting in front of this one and dropping him. This blog exists to do what Michael Leighton did to our Cup hopes, but to the internet - fuck it up. On a side note, if the city of Philadelphia wants any money from me to keep an online diary of my emotions regarding the Flyers they're gonna make me get all Mel Gibson pre-Nazi Braveheart on their asses. I have some demands, and the first one involves the mayor L-ing some B's. (Blogger these days, Stan…..just, just, no accountability at all…..I tell ya') Add comment (4)

OFFSides 2010

Written by Ryan
Thursday, 26 August 2010 06:49
It's funny to think that the result of a strong iced coffee and two Excedrins in August could lead the most fun Flyers party of all time in October. But I guess the same thing happens on a smaller scale every Tuesday afternoon when you text or email your friends asking them if they want to get drinks on Thursday and ruin any level of productivity that the Friday workday was going to bring. With this, I introduce and invite you to (you being anyone who can read, be read to, or even be dragged along) the first annual, possibly never to be repeated Online Flyers Fans Summit. We're referring to it as OFFSides because it's a hockey term as well as slang for 'over the line' in terms of conversational etiquette, but have no idea what the 'ides' would stand for. So take a stab if you want. What I'm picturing: - John Vanbiesbrouck doing racially charged stand up - drink specials, such as free drinks - the eliminator from American Gladiators - a banner - some kick ass pre-game pump up jams. In the vein of Pearl Jam and Jock Jams, not Acidwash Bus Stop. - no celebrity guest, except for the guy who played Al Borland, and only because he wants to be our Vince Vaughn - a juggler - one of those tall poles where you hit the base with a giant sledge hammer an the thing rises up and hits the bell - a roller coaster - that game where you try and hit the frogs onto a Lilly pad Ok, now I'm just describing a fair. Yep, I got too excited for Fall and started to describe a fair where I would go and wear sweaters and pick apples and drop them in a wooden bucket. What it will probably actually be: - a group of people that get together pre-game representing their Twitter name, commenter name, blog, professional writing name, real name…whatever…having a couple coffees or drinks before we head to the WFC to watch the Flyers take on an Atlantic Division foe. Thinking McFaddens would be better than the Pavilion because we could have some separation and tell who each other are instead of wonder where any sort of event is in a sea of Flyers jerseys. The most important thing is that this is not brought to you by anyone, it's brought to you by everyone. We're on board, Broad Street Hockey's on board, Crossing Broad's on board, if Matt P from the 700 level actually exists or comes back from Asia he'll probably be on board, @hewish, @mtrible, @estebomb, @PhilaDaviea are in. @phillykelly goes to every sporting event in the city so I can't see why she wouldn't be there. @HockeyGuy_DLEED might be on board or he might be mocking us, I can't tell. Dios Mio, even local beat writer Sarah Baicker might stop by. And I can't promise you anything except it could be fun. I can't promise any $1 off well-drink specials, any banners, or that Rock God John Tesh will perform (I can't promise he won't either). I can promise you that we'll be there (if we end up moving it to pre-Isles game on October 30th and either way Jon might have to be there in spirit with a picture and candles). And we'll be drinking beer. I can also promise you that I'll try my darndest not to put anything in your drink. Key word Try. So I don't know where to take it from here except choose a date and build the buzz. I think we'll try to reach out to McFaddens and probably get shot down. Should we have some contests leading up to it where we can release the results? Some polls? Some give aways like one afternoon riding the ferris wheel with Fran? Add comment (6)

Mumford & Sons' Jody Shelley

Written by Ryan
Tuesday, 24 August 2010 06:35
First there was Bruce Willis. Then there was Jared Leto. And finally, or so I thought, was Joffrey Lupul singing Deep Blue Something's Breakfast at Tiffany's on the rooftops of Old City. But there is a new comer to the celebrity-for-other-reasons-but-also-a-musician scene. And he's a Flyer. A Flyer named Jody Shelley. Mumford & Sons formed in late 2007 and have recently scored a huge hit with their critically acclaimed (except for Pitchfork, which is how it remains Pitchfork) debut Album Sigh No More. Shelley had always been interested in music since his family moved to Nova Scotia at an early age and ended up living next door to Roland Orzabal of Tears for Fears. It was at this early age that Shelley also saw a performance by Joy Division on television, in which he saw 'band member' Bez dancing around high on drugs with a pair of maracas and first thought 'I could do that.' Over the years Shelley has dabbled in the wind chimes, the spoons, the maracas, the triangle, and the tambourine. In the fall of 2004 lead man of Mumford & Sons, Marcus Mumford, saw Shelley playing the harp at an open mic night at a bar in Jyvaskyla, Finland, where Shelley was playing for an FNL team called JYP during the lock out. He was instantly intrigued by the giant man's delicate melodies and a union was formed over a bottle of Sambuca at the bar afterwards. As the band has climbed to international fame it's been difficult to work around Shelley's ice hockey schedule. During the NHL season they'll often have someone fill in for Shelley on the multitude of instruments he plays, but are planning a tour that coincides with the Flyers travel schedule in 2010-11. Whether the Flyers new tough guy can handle the late nights on the road is something we'll have to keep our eyes on. He's becoming increasingly more integral to the bands' live shows as he has just begun to lay down back up vocals on the groups latest song My Life is a Bar Full of All My Friends Across the Street From a Coffee Shop with Everything I Have to Do In It. But Philadelphia, get ready to hear some harmonious folk this fall: In related news, official favorite band of Flyers Goal Scored By and local product Enter the Rooms has released their new EP. Download it for free and then get your ass out to The North Star, Temple, Khyber and up to NYC's West Village to see these guys make your pants pop. Add comment (6)

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust. Arron Asham, You're Dead to Us.

Written by Ryan
Sunday, 22 August 2010 13:56
This kind of pisses me off. A player going to an arch rival in any sport is painful for a fan. But in hockey, it's a bit different. If Jimmy Rollins or Donovan McNabb ever went to another team in their respective divisions it would be a bitch to play against them, but that's about it. In hockey there's a real culture of hatred and threat of physical violence when two teams meet up that is only heightened when the two teams have a history. The thought that Arron Asham could be fighting Scott Hartnell next year doesn't bother me, the fact that he'll be doing it as a Penguin does. I have to admit that the guy kind of won me over during the past two seasons. I knew he would way back in September of 2008, as you can see in the excerpt below, but he exceeded my expectations by the time his run in Philly had ended: s Ever had an Asian meatball? Get ready, because you just got a 2 year subscription to the Asian Meatball of the Month Club. And it's Arron Asham every month. I'm hesitant to blindly root for Asham after looking back on last year's posts and realizing that a Flyers jersey has skewed my judgement in the past, and allowed me to root for players I shouldn't have. I'm sure though that after a fight and a goal I'll be eating my cheese steaks with chopsticks and writing posts about the Asian Invasion. If you're wondering when that goal might happen I'd bet on the fight first. Asham's point productivity, which has never been high, decreased significantly last year. He's put up as many as 34 points in a season but last year only had 10. Obviously this could have been for a number of reasons but wasn't helped by the fact that he and his coach never really saw eye to Asian eye. I'm not really sure why the Flyers picked him up, unless it was because they were so impressed by the time he punched that guy's head off last season. Like him or not he did have a great quote when he got signed. "I think it's great. I've always wanted to play with the Flyers. I think their style of game suits my game to a tee. It's definitely going to be exciting to come here and wear the orange and black." Asham actually strayed a bit from the standard hockey interview where you say you loved the fans in your old team's city while saying your excited to come to a new city. He went out and endeared himself to the Flyers fans right off the bat. For a fan base that is constantly defending their club's reputation, to have a player come in and say he likes the way the Flyers play and in fact has always wanted to be a part of it is huge. The Rangers game opening night should be something. Not only do we have the main bout with Cote and Orr but also an undercard with Asham and Dubinsky, or maybe Voros. (For the record Cote and Orr did fight that game but Asham didn't do much except go -1. Funny aside: Nik Zherdev and Blair Betts scored the first two goals against us in that 4-0 first period that sent my expectations for a turnaround season into the toilet.) So now Ashy Larry is officially a defender of Sidney Crosby and a member of the enemy. Just like it happened before it won't take me long to go back to hating him. This blog appreciates all he did as one of the good guys, but this is the last sext he'll be getting from us. Add comment (6)

Flyers Picture of the Year

Written by Ryan
Friday, 20 August 2010 06:49
I've been listening to this really incredible but sad song by Iron & Wine for the past few weeks that I just found out was on the soundtrack to the movie In Good Company. Yep, Topher Grace and Dennis Quaid. Anyway, the song makes me all sentimental and happy and sad and repeats a number of times during its 9+ minutes (!) 'Please, remember me...' This morning I just felt like writing a post - the season must be coming on. And I was wondering what I think of first thing when I try to remember last season. Like, very first thing. The actual first thing was Simon Gagne arms raised in Game 4 of the ECF. But seeing as the Flyers don't recognize that he ever existed, much less played on the team for 10 seasons, it couldn't have that be the Picture of the Year. For me, that one above is it. There are a number in the series of this play that are great candidates. There's one right after of Richie and The Game Genie jumping into each other's arms like Harry and Lloyd but Ryan Parent ruins it. But for this actual picture, factoring in what you knew happened to get to this point and all the fans faces in the background...this is it. (Love that guy in the black by the way. I mean hate. It's called the Orange Crush, idiot. Not the Black T-Shirt Brazilian Chest Pump) What is your candidate for picture of the year? A great source to scroll through is this place called Zimbio. Just search the name of your favorite Flyer and browse for years. I don't even know if you can post pictures or links in our comments. If you can't just draw a sexy version of it and mail it us. If someone knows how to post pics in our comments please clue me in when you post yours. That is, if you're actually stuck at work on August 20th like I am and getting ready for an awful day that glossy Flyers pictures and memories of the coldest sport on ice might actually salvage. s Also, here's that Iron & Wine song if you want to feel something today: s Add comment (15)

Names You're Going to Love

Written by Jon
Thursday, 19 August 2010 14:50
As Ryan pointed out a few weeks back, some NHL names are better than others. Sure, we want these guys to score goals and all that other gravy stuff... but there's something about a good name being called out during a game that just turns me into gravy inside. I want some turkey and potatoes. We're pretty much set with the Flyers roster this year but, as injuries and complete brain-dump of talent often occurs, there are sure to be more than a few call-ups from the farm ranks. So here's my oh-so-illustrious list of groovy, gravy-named players I want to see get called up this coming year (not based upon skill or any other tangible factor): Marc-Andre Bourdon: Sounds like a nice wine. Plays like one too. A great name for stretching out that final syllable on a goal score call: "Big shot from the point. Goal! Bourdoooooooooooooooon!!!!" Simon Bertilsson: cause it reminds me of those wine coolers from the 80's. Dave Labrecque: pronounced "Day-ve La-bre-kay". Some where between a barbecue and an overpriced decorative egg (faberge), the name just rolls off the tongue. You can hardy say the last name without saying the first. Andrei Popov: makes me hungry and salty at the same time, like a cross between a pop-tart and Popeye (the movie)... and then I hear a little song we used to sing as children with dandelions... "Little bunny foo-foo..." ... good times David Laliberte: it sounded good last year and will sound good again this year. "La-Libertay!!!" There were others that threatened to make this list, such as: Lehtivuori, Blidstrand, Lauridsen, and Testwuide (aka. "test the weed")... but I haven't had enough coffee to be able to pronounced anything of them even inside my head. I love Greek subtitles... awesome. Add comment (1)

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